


Feeling Blue

by CinnaTwist



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Lance deserves so much more, Lance is in the healing pod and everyone worries, M/M, Secret Valentine, season two setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-24 14:03:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9749654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnaTwist/pseuds/CinnaTwist
Summary: Lance feels like the seventh wheel and it weighs on him more than anyone ever realized. For the VLD Secret Valentines on Tumblr.





	

Shiro noticed before everyone else. It wasn't obvious at first. Just little things, like leaving early from dinner and celebrating a little less with all of them after a job well done. It was a very un Lance like, but they'd been working hard lately. The blue paladin was probably just tired. Well- that's what Shiro hoped.

He over heard the words through the helmet com system. "Maybe i'm just the fifth wheel... seventh if you count Coran and Allura."

It hurt. It hurt to hear lance say that. If Shiro caught it he was sure Pidge did as well. Neither of them said a word but instead quietly digested the sad tone of the blue paladin.

When they got back to the castle Lance seemed elated, The amazing shot he made helping him ride high. Shiro even went out of his way to call him 'Sharp Shooter. Which he knew the other greatly appreciated.

Still it didn't last long, soon the Cuban boy was right back to where he was before. He wasn't as close to them as usual. Instead of seeking them out he was alone in the observatory for the most part. He showed up at meal times less and less, his portions smaller and smaller. Lance was disappearing right before his eyes. And by now the others were starting to notice it as well and it was getting harder and harder to sit on the side-lines.

Things couldn't get any worse, or so Shiro thought.

It was an easy training session, one that didn't even require the use of their bayards. It was going well for the most part, what Lance lacked in energy he made up for with intense focus.

Shiro noticed the shakiness of his legs and said nothing.

Pidge notice the sluggishness in his dull blue eyes and bit her tongue.

Hunk saw the paleness of his complexion and tried to reach out to him.

Keith heard strained silence so loudly it was drumming in his ears.

Lance hit the floor.

Keith was closest so he was there first. He practically jumped across the room calling out and pulling the other into his lap. The bang his head made when it hit the training deck didn't sound too good.

" Come on buddy stay with us. " His voice was determined and commanding however it yielded no result.

Pidge was next, her lithe frame making her the fastest. She didn't say anything but soon petite fingers made their way confidently around the other's form. She checked him over once, twice, three times.. Skillfully removing bulky armor as she did.

" He's s skinny ". Shiro let out a hard breath bending down as he looked at Lance. God he was more than skinny. As pieces of armor were pulled out of the way they could all see how frail the blue paladin had become. Hunk fell to his knees cradling his friends face in his large palms. He looked so small, smaller than he had when they were kids.

The angry whoosh of the door revealed Allura, Coran hot on her heels. She made her way to the group, trying to access the situation quickly.

" What's going on? Is Lance alright?"

Keith and Hunk balanced themselves carefully as they lifted the unconscious person in question of the ground.

Shiro let out a sharp breath. Everyone wanting to know the same thing. " We-We don't know princess. "

The silence that fell between them all was heavy.

" Lets get him into a healing pod. "  
It was Coran who spoke. Despite the chain of command he was still the adult and knew how to handle the situation. The group nodded in agreement before making their way to the pods.

" the wound on his head isn't that bad, he should be out in a couple hours. " the redhead supplied carefully. He was looking over lance's vitals and everything looked fairly normal. If it wasn't for how sickly the other appeared Coran would have thought nothing was wrong with him.

" alright team, lets get something to eat and take the rest of the day off. We could all use some rest. Lance will be out before you know it " Shiro reassured.

He was not out before they knew it. A few hours turned into a few days and a few days turned into a week. They had been lucky that with their new allies they'd been able to keep Zarkon at bay. The situation had everyone on the team on edge. The paladins rarely spoke to each other, smiles replaced with tight lines and each spending time watching Lance in the pod.

Shiro entered the medical bay for what seemed to be the umpteenth time that day. Pidge was in there now, computer and tech sitting messily in front of her. Cushion and pillows were littered around to make her more comfortable. She was babbling, something she did when she was either really excited or anxious. Shiro guessed the latter.

" And then you know what happened? Hunk laughed so had food goo came out of his nose! " She snorted above her computer. Despite keeping the conversation flowing her fingers didn't stop. " It was so funny! You would have died laughing. "

"You wouldn't have let him live that one down." She chuckled again before the tapping slowed. " but you weren't there because you aren't waking up. You haven't woken up. " Her voice was trembling slightly and Shiro felt his heart clench, he should go before the other noticed him. Still he couldn't bring himself to. He looked at the young girl's fragile form and felt the same break Pidge did. The same helplessness that they all felt.

" I heard you that time on the coms you know. When you said you felt you were like the Seventh wheel. I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say. You're the first wheel Lance, if you weren't here we wouldn't have made it this far. You're the blue paladin, blue chose you. If she never did we would have never gotten here. That's not all either. You're the one who tries all of Hunk's latest recipes, and makes sure I go to sleep because I forget all the time, You drag Keith out of his room and makes sure he socializes, You remind Shiro that we're still kids, You listen to Coran's stories when everyone else leaves the room, You cheer Allura up when she's home sick- you're there. You're always there Lance and I don't know what to do now that you're not. "

Pidge sobbed. It was a delicate sound, one that made Shiro grasp at his heart. Her tired voice straining from the raw emotion and tiny frame shaking. Her glasses were forgotten on the floor in front of her as messy hot tears sprang free from her eyes. It was the kind of crying that came from pure exhaustion and emotional stress. The kind that stripped your soul and left you empty. He'd seen Pidge sleep for random hours at a time in the castle but he knows she hadn't been back in her room since Lance had been in the pod. He knew without Lance pestering her about her skin and beauty rest Pidge barely slept, barely ate, barely did anything.

" I miss you so much!-" She choked.

Shiro couldn't be here, this was private, Pidge didn't deserve to be seen this way. She needed comfort, comfort Shiro desperately wished he could provide. He looked down at his Galra hand and just knew that he was no good at this. When ever things got to this point Lance as the one who settled her down. Lance was the most human of them all. While Shiro- Shiro was only a broken solider. He turned away from the medical bay and left with soft light steps. They needed Lance, They needed him to wake up soon.

Not knowing what to do Shiro went and got Hunk. He and lance were the best with these situations so he left it up to him. He was right thankfully. First time in a while. Hunk gave Pidge some space goo and sent her to take a long deserved nap. Which she only agreed to after a firm promise they would wake her if Lance woke up.

He didn't wake up.

By the ninth day they all had enough. Coran was carefully reading over Lance's vitals Pidge hovering over his shoulders. They all bit their tongue hoping that the orange haired man would find the answer.

He did.

" The good news is Lance is physically all healed! In fact I'd say he's in peaked peak condition."

The group let out a sigh of relief well all except one.

" Then why isn't he out yet!" Keith snapped. The black haired teen had been teetering on the edge for a while. Like Pidge his bags were dark and his form battered. Instead of spending his time in the castle he was out fighting Zakron. Running himself into the ground with no concern for his own well being.

They were incapable of taking care of themselves Shiro was learning. Lance's nagging almost mom like presence was necessary for them. Shiro placed his human hand on the other's shoulder cooling him down.

" Calm down Keith, Coran was just getting to that. Weren't you Coran?"

The older man nodded. " It seems that Lance has a series of deep mental scars that have started to heal. We call it the Rasnager, maybe you have something like that on earth? Its a condition that makes everything seem meaningless and saps away at your energy until you sometimes take your own life. "

Hunk breathed in noisily through his nose and covered his mouth.

" Depression."

It appeared no one else in the room was able to bring themselves to say it.

It made sense. The loss of appetite, the drifting away from everyone, the lack of motivation. Lance was struggling and suffering in a way they never imagined. Shiro should have noticed, after all he was the leader. It was his job to look after them, he was the oldest. He'd seen the signs, he had just over looked the situation. He had overlooked Lance. He took a deep breath unable to quell the sudden wave of guilt that rocked his stomach. He didn't take care of Lance, he didn't reach out to him even though he knew the other needed it.

" How long until he wakes up? "

Keith was the voice of reason. the sudden sound of the other's tone was able to pull him out of his spiraling thoughts.

Coran made a thoughtful sound while the others stared at him expectantly. He eyed the charts again.

" I don't know... He's healing nicely though. Maybe another week or two. It probably isn't that his body isn't ready to wake up, it's that Lance does want to wake up."

Pidge felt her heart clench. She bite her lip and glared at Coran with all the venom she could manage. " And what is that supposed to mean! Are you trying to say Lance can't stand us?" Her slender shoulders were trembling with rage and it became all too clear that she was taking it personally. First she lost her father and brother and now- now she was losing a brother all over again! " Are you saying he hates us so much he rather sleep in that pod all day!"

Hunk separated the green paladin from Coran instead covering the smaller teen in his arms. The size difference made it easy for Hunk to shield her completely. He could feel his chest growing damp as Pidge cried. She cried from fatigue, She cried from heart break and cried out everything that happened up until this point. She just couldn't handle it anymore.

No one said a word but Keith did head over to Hunk and whisper soft words of encouragement privately for her ears. Soon the sniffling slowed and the red and yellow paladins were able to pull her out of the medical wing. She wasn't able to look at the pod or Lance as she left.

To say Shiro was over whelmed would be an understatement. He understood Pidge, He understood the rejection she felt. If only Lance could hear them, hear how much they missed him, how much they needed them. Then surely he would wake up and make one of his self centred jokes that he always did. He didn't hear them though and he didn't wake up.

" Perhaps it would be best to override the system and wake up Lance early. " Surprisingly it was Allura's suggestion. Her eyes were damp with unshed emotion but still she was their leader. " Lance needs to be ready to form Voltron if we are to defeat Zakron, not only that I don't think the Paladins can handle being without the blue lions quintessence much longer. "

" The Blue lions Quintessence? " Shiro asked. He rose an eyebrow looking at the princess curiously.

" The blue Paladins always were important to the team, they provided a feeling of safety and calm that only they could. While the black lion brings unity, the Red brings determination, the yellow stability and the green understanding. Without the blue, with out the connector between them to balance it all out, it crumbles. Lance's quintessence supports you all, it is his energy that brings security, that brings clarity that amplifies your already strong powers. Without water fire will blaze out of control, with out water the green will wither and die, without water the earth becomes dry and cracks appear beneath out feet. I didn't say anything before but... I don't think Pidge can handle much more of this. "

It made sense to him somehow. Even thought she was tired Pidge couldn't sleep, wouldn't sleep. She missed Lance and spent all day and night inside of the medical wing talking to the unconscious man. Telling him secrets she's probably told him a hundred times before. Telling him how much she missed him, how empty space was without his loud voice to fill up the halls. They all missed Lance but Pidge- Pidge was so much younger then them. Not only that, but she already had so much taken from her.

" I agree Princess, maybe we should wake him up. "

Coran didn't agree. The man shifted defensively in front of the pod and furrowed his brows as he looked at Lance's figure.

" Wait a tick- he needs this, if he didn't he would have woken up on his own. We wont face Zarkon for another few cycles I beg you both to reconsider. "

Shiro wanted to. Oh how he wanted to let Lance float in there for as long as he needed. Until every crack slither and scar in his mind, body and soul were healed. They didn't have that luxury though. Pidge didn't have that luxury.

" The green Paladin is like a sapling Coran, without Lance's quintessence she's wilting, drying up before her roots have even properly taken hold. "

Coran winced obviously understanding the complications, but still. Lance- Lance was important too. " Just-Just a little while longer. Please he deserves that much. "

Allura looked at Shiro neither able to argue with the weak almost broken tone the older man gave them. The two leaders nodded at each other. " Alright Coran. We'll give him a little more time. Hopefully it'll be enough "

 

When Lance woke up Pidge was the one who caught him, well tried to at least. Pale frantic arms managing to catch his form as Hunk and Shiro helped ease the blue paladin onto his shaky legs. The shortest member wrapped her arms around Lance's waist afraid to let go. She drunk in his presence like she was starved, as if her whole being would break if she was apart from the other for one more moment.

This is when Shiro realized what Allura was saying. The second Lance's consciousness returned to them it was like a cool ocean wave swallowing up their worries and cooling every cell in their body. Hydrating everything and cleansing all darkness that might have surface in his absence. It was easier to breath all of a sudden.

" Don't do that again jerk!" The green Paladin choked. She made sure to nudge the other quite hard in the solar plexus. Lance just laughed. " Sorry about that Pidgy I'll be more careful next time I fall on my face. How long was I out?"

The room grew unnaturally quiet and Lance's face fell.

" Guys?" He looked at each of them gauging their expressions until finally Shiro spoke up. " 11 Days Lance. "

With a messy inhale Lance looked at his hands almost as if finding the answer there. It must have been one hell of a bloody gash if it took him that long to heal. He squeezed his eyes tightly letting foggy memories resurface, he was certain he didn't hit the floor that hard. Did he fall on Keith's bayard or something? The weren't using Bayards though.

" Don't worry about it. " Keith soothed.

Lance turned to him raising an eyebrow. The red paladin looked away not wanting to catch his eyes. " Don't worry about it, You needed the rest. In fact if it wasn't to form Voltron I would have left you in there for ten thousand years. God knows we need the break. " There was a playful yet serious glint in his eyes that Lance picked up on right away.

The blue paladin scoffed and raised a long expressive arm.

" Ha! That's just what you want the others to think- You know you couldn't go ten thousand years without all of this! "

Hunk bit his lip but soon the giggles were spilling over, without any energy to stop it the group laughed. Hunk's shoulders trembled as he tried to hide his face from Lance, Pidge snorted and let her eyes fall closed, Allura kept hers polite and quiet but you could still see the grin tugging at her lips. Keith settled for a cocky smile while Coran patted Lance on the back and reassured him. Shiro on the other hand. He just took in the moment.

He missed this.

He let a small chuckle leave his lips and with it all the pent up stress from the days before. Lance was okay, Lance was fine.

First thing was first they needed to get some food into the paladin. 11 days without it, healing pod or no healing pod was not good for you. After Hunk whipped up way more Goo then necessary Pidge insisted in her own check up. She was meticulous in running Lance through tests in order to make sure the other was really all right. After that she proceeded to catch him up on all the funny things he missed and a short yet definitely needed cuddle session on the couch. Keith was next to steal Lance away from Pidge bringing him to the training room to show him the new things he learned from the blade of mimora. After making it to level 5 on the training simulator- much to the blue paladins annoyance, they enjoyed each others company. Lance complained about making up the missed training. Only god knew how long that would take considering Keith was a training machine. Still the red paladin listened happy to simply hear the other's voice.

Things were finally brightening up in the castle of lions.

Shiro walked around his eyes scanning for the blue paladin. Everyone else was finally at ease. Lounging about here and there, finally getting some much deserved rest. Especially Pidge who cocooned her self in her room the moment Lance soothed her worries away. Then proceeded to scold her and send her off to bed.

Lance gave her that peace of mind. The older male gave a soft smile before his feet carried him to the observatory. The other teen was sitting in front of the large window his face screwed up in concentration. Shiro snuck up behind him before wrapping his arms around him lazily.

" You okay?' He whispered into the crook of the others neck. Lance nodded carefully. " Yea just... lost in thought. "

Settling himself in Shiro sat behind Lance bringing him between his legs. He was happy to card his human fingers though the almost satin soft locks.

" what are you thinking about? "

The blue paladin made a thoughtful noise letting blue eyes flutter shut. He was thinking about a lot really but mostly abut what Coran told him. The other made it a point to explain why exactly he was in the healing pod for so long and honestly it scared him. It scared him that he was just that low. That he was actually struggling a lot more than he thought he was. He let out a shaky breath.

" Just- stuff.

He finally answered. He couldn't tell Shiro, He couldn't open up to the other just yet. Couldn't let him know about the dark cobwebs that lurked in the corner of his mind. Shiro nodded softly against the other before picking up one of the smaller teens lean slender limbs. He pressed a soft kiss to the inside of Lance's wrist. He felt his breath hitch, making Shiro smile and continue to pepper bronze skin gently. Cherishing him. Loving him.

Lance wanted to break, he felt so vulnerable and precious in the moment that he didn't want to say a word, not wanting Shiro to stop. Without his consent quiet tears rolled down his cheeks like the waves caressed the shore of Varadero beach.

" I was scared. " Shiro confessed softly. He said it so quietly Lance almost thought he imagined it. " I thought you wouldn't wake up and maybe- maybe it was my fault. "

Lance turned around in the others large muscular arms. " Shiro.. baby. No, No, No ,No , No. This is no ones fault. It isn't something we could have avoided. I love you and I know I would have woken up soon even if you guys hadn't overridden the system. I wouldn't choose to stay asleep and lifeless in that pod when I have so much to live for right here. When you give me so much to live for mi Novio, Mi corazon. "

Shiro flushed slightly hearing Lance call him soft spanish pet names always made him crumble. He could feel it, the weight of the previous days crashing down on him. How worried he had been. The accusing looks from his fellow team mates.

After all he was Lance's partner, if the other was depressed who was to say it wasn't because Shiro wasn't treating him right. The older man knew that wasn't the case however there was still that tingling doubt that whispered that he was making Lance unhappy. That the other would be happier with someone else. He choked on the raw emotion that built up in his throat.

Lance took Shiro's face in his hands, carefully brushing aside small tears that started to fall. Even like this the man was beautiful, Shiro would always be beautiul to him no matter how old they got. Leaning forward the cuban boy pressed a tender kiss against Shiro's. It was filled with everything he knew Shiro needed and like a man dying of thirst Shiro took all the leaner one had to offer. Shiro brushed soft chocolate locks out of the other's face and returned the kiss, deepening it. Reassuring himself that this wasn't a dream, that Lance was awake. Oh how many times had he woken up from a dream where Lance was in his arms. How many times did the ghost of their kisses linger on his lips.

They broke apart enjoying the close warmth of each other. Lance gave a soft smile and Shiro felt his world finally start spinning. The other was there, the other was awake.

" I love you. " It was almost silent but Lance heard it. His small smile turned into a large grin and he gave the other another soft kiss.

" Te amo Shiro. From now until the end of time."

**Author's Note:**

> Well here it is! My secret Valentine for: rebelrumi!!! Hope you like it Darling!!! Sorry I couldn't post this sooner been covering extra shifts at work!
> 
> XOXO
> 
> This took so much longer than I thought. Decided to switch all of Pidge's pronounces to female and I don't have microsoft word so it was a nightmare to edit! I might touch it up some more because i'm sure there's more mistakes! Thanks so much for reading!!! I haven't written in ages and this was pretty fun.


End file.
